The word “merisik” in Bahasa Malaysia (Malay language) means- to whisper (eavesdropping) or to spy if
translated literally but actually it means to investigate or inquire secretly
and discretely. The Malay culture is full of very artful behavior if they
intend to do something. Merisik is
the first step to be undertaken by a man if he likes a woman. The man will get
his parents to assemble a small private party like a family gang to go to the
said woman's house and do the merisik
ceremony. First, it is an inquiry and to tender intent from the man putting
forward his intention towards the woman’s parents and family.
Then if the woman’s family consented, immediately or sometimes during a second visit there will be a discussion about the wedding date and venue. During the merisik, verbal communication will be in parables or pantun (in Malay). Pantun is the Malay version of the English sonnets. In its raw and basic format, these sonnets or pantun consist of verses or abab (in Malay) where in each line the ending rhyme with each other and it’s very delicate to the hearing. A novelty showing off the mastery in commanding the Malay language. The shortest pantun has two lines known as pantun dua kerat whereas the longest has sixteen lines or pantun enam belas kerat. It’s hard to translate into English because Malay and English have different language syntax and lexical meanings but here is a sample of Malay Merisik Pantun;
Jika tidak kerana
bintang
Tak mungkin bulan
terbit tinggi
Jika tidak kerana
sayang
Tak mungkin kami
datang ke sini
If
it’s not because of the stars high above
Would
the moon risen so high in the sky
If
it weren’t for you my love
Would
we never venture nigh!
The Malays are a very cultured society. Whenever they want to say something especially if it’s related to birth, marriage, death, peace talks, or ceremonial matters, they are extremely cautious in order to avoid hurting anybody’s feelings. Such is the high standard of speech of the Malays that they resort to talking in sonnets and use proverbial sentences to convey their message.
During the merisik both parties will decide on the wedding date and venue as well as discussion about mahar or mas kahwin and hantaran. Mahar or mas kahwin is dowry
given from the man to the woman and it is a religious obligation required in
Islam and cannot be taken back once given whereas hantaran is a cultural mannerism that literally means delivery but
actually, it means elaborate wedding gifts which consist of money, jewelry,
clothing’s, gifts (even handphones and
tablets in these days), foodstuff, flowers and fruits wrapped in a very
decorative and artistic manner.
By
Noor Mohamed
13/8/22
12.04am
